well you must be bored enough to read this so ill be bored enough to entertain u a bit XD
what goes around the world but stays in one cornor?
if a plane crashes on the border of the US and Canada where are the survivors burried?
sex isn't the answer its the question yes is the answer.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?
Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
If toast always lands butterside down, and cats always land on their
feet, what would happen if you strapped toast to a cats back and
dropped it?
If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?Why does a round pizza come in a square box?Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the
ground?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
A young girl was going on a date. Her grandmother said: “Sit here
and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try and kiss you, you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that.
He is going to try and feel your breast, you are going to like that
but don’t let him do that. But most important, he is going to try and
get on top of you to have his way with you. You are going to like that,
but don’t let him do that. It will disgrace the family.”
With that bit of advice, the
granddaughter went on her date. The next day she told grandma that her
date went just like she had predicted: “Grandma, I didn’t let him
disgrace the family. When he tried, I just turned over, got on top of
him, and disgraced His family…”
Granny fainted….
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder
about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all
been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How
about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here’s a little
mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard
work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there,
it’s the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
