HerbalismA scrapbook from my memories Comments on self
I am Isabella Finch and I am sixteen, from Manhattan, New York of the United States. This is a scrapbook of my memories first and foremost. My past is what makes me who I am. Once I have everything that I can remember, then I will begin with new memories I make since arriving here. And already I have quite a few. I don’t want to risk forgetting anything, so here they will go.
I shall begin with a few tid bits about my background. I was raised by my mom and dad. Mostly. Okay… so maybe I was more raised by a nanny… But my mom and dad did the most they could for me. I didn’t always understand that when growing up. Sometimes I would stay the night at a friend’s and I would get jealous at how close their families were. When the dad would come home from work at a decent hour and the mom would be home all day cleaning house and making dinner or just lounging on the sofa watching her soaps, Oprah and game shows that she would yell at the television over. My friend would get embarrassed and blush deeply, whispering to me that she was sorry about it. And I would laugh with her but really.. I thought it was so great that her mom was there whenever she needed her.
My mother, and my father too, both did really well with what they had though. They worked really hard and they did so partly for me. I wore the best of clothes, went to a top notch school that even some of my closer friends couldn’t get into. I was able to take lessons for extra things like dance and art to look great on a college application and we lived in the most expensive city in New York in an amazing Penthouse.
My friends would love coming over to stay in my room. And I have to admit, especially after being here for a while… It was pretty sweet. As we got older though and began to go to different schools, we began to grow distant though. They began to get new friends that they hung out with a lot and I grew colder. At the expensive school my parents placed me in, friends weren’t quite as important. It was more cut throat really. We all came from good, wealthy families and were pressured to get the good grades to keep our parents impressed to win over their attention. I began to go more artistic. Music, dance, art… They were ways I could release my emotions and frustrations without telling others out right how I was feeling. My parents only wanted what was best for me after all. To give me things they didn’t always have. My father had come from a middle class family and went to college on scholarships. He worked hard to get where he was. Sometimes I think he feels that if he ever slows down, he may sink again. It isn’t true though. He has so much. More than he deserves… And my mother grew up in the south. Her parents were wealthy and didn’t actually approve of my father. She traveled to New York with her class for a school trip and she met my father at a restaurant there. It was kind of like one of those love at first sight type of things you only ever read about in the fantasy novels. They traded numbers and had a bit of a long distance relationship until they graduated. Then she moved to New York for college and right after graduation, they got married. It would be nice to say they lived happily ever after… but they didn’t.
I was born shortly after and things were great for a while, but then my mother found out that some of those “late night” shifts weren’t as they seemed. He had been having an affair and it tore her apart. She went into a great depression and then finally snapped. She went to drive to the other woman’s place, but she had died on the way. It isn’t something I wish to write about now, and I know the memory will never fade. And it was my father’s fault. How can someone say they love someone and start a family with them, when they are with someone else as well? It is something I could never condone. Not after it took my mother from me. And then to add salt to the wounds, my father began to move the other woman in right after the funeral. It was… too much. I ran away and hid the night in an alley. I had no idea where else to go, I just couldn’t stay there with that woman trying to take my mother’s place.
It was when I woke up, that everything changed. I didn’t awake in the alley, but in a small wooden room instead. I began to worry. You hear about stories on the news of people being abducted. Maybe I was kidnapped during the night. New York did have its weirdos after all. But I wasn’t bound and no one else was there. And then I was… here..
And here is more different than anything I had come across, even in books. It is like the dark ages here with creatures from horror films. Demons and vampires that consume blood, talking animals, people that constantly change shape and appearance, Creatures that claim to be hundreds of years old and even claim to be immortal and dead. Thinking over it now, I must wonder if I had some how died in that alley and that this is Hell. But… It hasn’t been complete rock bottom. Here are a few people I have met along the way here.
Live and let live.
Necromancer Mortis… A man who drinks for fun, plays with fire, can take an arrow to the knee and still hold a smile. What isn’t to like? Oh… I don’t know… Maybe the way you say anything to get what you want, and then turn on it. He was one of the first I met upon coming here and I was cold towards him. I showed no amount of interest in him at all. And still he continued to follow me, making excuses for things, annoying me. And then? He betrayed me. Best friend ever.
Of Mice and Men.
Okay… So he was more rodent than mouse. FlyingChipmunk, Chip for short. What can I really say? I liked you a lot when we talked. It was nice to have someone to be myself around, who I could joke around with. But some things are short lived. I offered you the world, but you were too slow to take it. You never know what could have happened, but I have seen that it is true what they say. Misery loves company and everything happens for a reason. You may be a rat who no longer has my friendship, but I think you will go far. You have a silver tongue for that and some women just love the way you flip flop between your pity parties and swollen ego. Yeah… You have fun with that.
Sweet nothings.
Phoebe… I came across her and suddenly my maternal instincts kicked in. There she was, just a small child with weird ears and a tail. But who could look at that face and turn her away? She was precious and her story tugged on a heartstring I didn’t even know existed. I learned that her parents had died and she was basically an orphan, so I took her as my own. And I truly loved her though I wasn’t really cut out to be a mother. It was nice though, to care for her and protect her to the best of my abilities. But as quickly as she had came, she had left just the same. I will always remember my little girl, even though I have no idea what happened to her.
The Teachings of a Fool.
Ah.. Ars Alchemy. I wasn’t even sure I should include you here. You are my mentor, a man I should look up to and respect. But how can I? You talk over me in riddles, even after I tell you I loathe them. You never talk to me. You think asking me a question every two or three weeks through the mail is teaching me about this place I have already surpassed you in. You have taught me nothing about this world. You have given me nothing to aid me, not even advice. It is hard to say something nice though, about someone who is supposed to care for me and protect me, but can’t take the time to get to know me. I wish you luck though. Maybe you can learn from your mistakes to better yourself in the future. Maybe.
Nice Guys finish last.
So it is really good you aren’t nice, Axel. Axel Keravnos. A man who took me under his wing and became my teacher, teaching me the things my mentor should have taught me. It was with your help and patience that I have grown a bit, that I have learned a little. You have been kind and generous and in an exciting affair, teacher and student have fallen in love. Axel, I have never fallen for anyone with as much love, passion and purity as I have with you. It is to you I have given my everything to; my mind, spirit, heart… and my body. It is with you that I hope to write my Happily ever after ending with. We don’t know what the future will hold, but for now? I am completely smitten. When you look at me, my knees grow weak. With the simple touch of the hand my heart flutters with enough speed to fly from my chest. I never thought I would give in to love because I didn’t think it really existed, but you have proven me wrong. It is by your side I wish to remain every day, to wake and see your face in the sunlight. To look up and see you smiling at me with those eyes that tell me how much you love me, and even though they do all the speaking for you, still your sweet velvety voice pours the words like honey for me to hear and grope at. Everything about you lures me in.
But now you have taught me a very valuable lesson. Nothing lasts forever. I loved the way you made me feel, when you were able to donate enough time to it. I hold no regrets in loving you and giving myself to you and I hope you are happy. You should be with someone who can handle how little you are around.