A day is lost if one has not laughed.

Out of all the things I've lost in life, I think I miss my mind the most.

Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse can happen to you for the rest of the day.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

What's The Difference Between Roast Beef and Pea Soup? Anyone Can Roast Beef.

If at the first you don\'t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you\'ve never tried before.

Never criticize a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes. That way when you do criticize him, you are a mile away and you have his shoes.




It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice and dropped in his fishing line. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice not far from him.

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The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. But, shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch.
The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son, I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?"
The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm.", "What was that?" the old man asked.
Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying."
The boy spit the bait into his hand and said, "You have to keep the worms warm!"