| Regeneration : |
234 |
| Energetic immunity : |
499 |
| Trade sense : |
160 |
| Briskness : |
352 |
| Initiative : |
227 |
| Defence : |
1164 |
| Attack : |
3089 |
| Power : |
292 |
| Luck : |
104 |
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| Principle of Cyclicity |
= 4000 |
| Principle of Imagination |
= 4000 |
| Time Principle |
= 4000 |
| Principle of Balance |
= 4000 |
| Principle of Light |
= 4000 |
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Loading human character...
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| You are not yet a member of any alliance |
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| Yeti, Follower of Discordia and the real "Bob" |
I drank the Devil under seven tables, I'm too INTENSE to die, I am
insured for acts of God AND Satan! I was shanghaied by bodiless
fiends and alien infidels from a corporate galaxy, and got away with
their hubcaps! I CANNOT be tracked on radar! I'm 23 feet tall and
have 13 rows o' teeth; I was suckled by a Triceratops, I'm a
bacteriological weapon, I'm ARMED and LOADED! I'm a fission
reactor, I FART plutonium, power plants are fueled by the sweat from
my brow; when they plug me in the lights go out in Hong Kong, I cook
and EAT my dead; I'm the Unshaven Thorn Tree of the Atlantis Zoo! I
pay no taxes! The Devil's hands are my IDEAL playground, I hold the
Seven-Bladed Windbreaker; the wheels that turn are behind me; I think BACKWARDS! I do it for FUN! They say a godzillion is the highest
number there is. Well, by god! I count to a godzillion and ONE! FNORD! Yes,
I'm the purple flower of Hell County, give me wide berth, when I drop
my drawers, Mother Nature swoons! I kidnapped the future and ransomed
it for the past, I made TIME wait up for me to bleed my lizard! My
infernal breath wilts the Tree of Life, I left my SPOOR on the Rock
of Ages, who'll tear flesh with me, who'll spill their juice? Whoop!
I'm ready! So step aside, all you buttlipped, neurotic, insecure
bespectacled slabs o' wimp meat! I'm a screamer and a laugher, I make a
spectacle of myself, I am a SIGHT! My physical type CANNOT be
classified by science, my 'familiar' is a pterodactyl, I feed it
dipshits! I communicate without WIRES or STRINGS! I am a Thuggee, I
am feared by the Tongs, I have the Evil Eye, I carry the Mojo Bag; I
swam the BERMUDA TRIANGLE and didn't get wet! I circumcise dinosaurs
with my teeth and make 'em leave a tip; I change tires with my TONGUE
and my TOOL! Every night I hock up a lunger and extinguish the SUN!
I'm the big-footed Devil of Level 14, who'll come SHOE me? Where's
the robot giant who'll try to blow me down? I've packed the brownies of
the gods, I leak the Plague from my nether parts, opiates are the MASS of my religion, I cram coca leaves right into my arm-veins
before they're picked off the tree! SPACE monsters cringe at my
tread! I wipe the Pyramids off my shoes before I enter MY house. I'm
fuel-injected, I'll live forever and remember it afterwards! I'm IMMUNE! I'm RADIOACTIVE! Come ON and give me cancer, I'll spit up
the tumor and butter my BREAD with the juice! I'm SUPERNATURAL, I
bend CROWBARS with my meat axe and a thought! My droppings bore
through the Earth and erupt VOLCANOES in CHINA! Yes, I
can drink more wine and stay soberer than all the heathen HINDOOS in
Asia! YEEE HAW! GUT BLOWOUT! I am a MORAY EEL, I am a KOMODO DRAGON, I am a KILLER WHALE BEREFT OF ITS PUP! I have a triple
backbone, I was sired by the Wolf Man, give me ALL your Slack! I told JESUS I wouldn't go to Church and he SHOOK MY HAND! I have my OWN
personal Saviors, I change 'em every hour, I don't CARE if
there's life after death, I want to know if there's even any BLOODY
Slack after death! I am a VISIONARY, I see the future and
the past in comic books and wine bottles; I eat BLACK HOLES for
breakfast! I bend my genes and whittle at my DNA with the sheer force
of my mighty WILL! I steer my OWN evolution! I ran 'em out
of Heaven and sold it to Hell for a PROFIT! I'm enlightened, I
achieved "Nirvana" and took it HOME with me. YIP YIP YEEEEE! I'm
so ugly the Speed of Light can't slow me down and Gravity won't tug at
my cuffs! When the Rapture comes, I'll make 'em wait! They'll NEVER
clean MY cage!
Yes, I'm a Yeti and I'm a follower of Discordia and the real "Bob" - J.R. Dobbs.
Praise "Bob"! Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!
Send ALL YOUR SLACK c/o The Enlightened Yetidom of the East
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| REPENT! QUIT YOUR JOBS! SLACK OFF!!! |
And, behold, thusly was the Law formulated: IMPOSITION OF ORDER = ESCALATION OF CHAOS!—Lord Omar Khayaam Ravenhurst, "The Gospel According to Fred," The Honest Book of TruthBelieve not one word that is written in The Honest Book of Truth by Lord Omar nor any that be in Principia Discordia by Malaclypse the
Younger; for all that is there contained are the most pernicious and
deceptive truths. —"Epistle to the Episkopi," The Dishonest Book of Lies, by Mordecai Malignatus, K.N.S.
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| Page 456 - The Traveler |
| "But your Highness, the shades said that.... " with a thunder voice Marvolo shouts at his soldier "***** ***". Unseen, the traveler comes closer to hear better..."But Khalazdad also said.." "And I said open them!" With a humble voice "As you wish Master, but at least we should check each one that comes in for weapons and potions, you know, or the shades will.." Marvolo turns away and leaves "Arhh damn them too! There is no Necrovion without someone in it." ... |
This story involves real player characters and updates every few hours.
Read the rest of the story in the game...you could become part of it |
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