The Great and Transcending Introduction of Metal Bunny Comments on self
My name is Metal Bunny and I want to rule the world
I'll give you a small introduction to my background, on how I grew up.. and what I am planning to do now. Dear reader if you wish to know more about my motives and the like, and wish to see beyond my hide, then I urge you to read the about my theories in my page of The Great and Transcending Doctrine of Metal Bunny
My name is Metal Bunny and I want to rule the world
I'll give you a small introduction to my background, on how I grew up.. and what I am planning to do now. Dear reader if you wish to know more about my motives and the like, and wish to see beyond my hide, then I urge you to read the about my theories in my page of The Great and Transcending Doctrine of Metal Bunny.
I am part of a very special sort of bunny breed. Our fur has metallic properties, so we require little armor. Our skins are tougher than most armor and will stop most strikes and jabs of blade and arrow, if we are trained, naturally.
I grew up as a young bunny, the youngest of a large litter... a very large litter, zounds of litters really. Mom and Dad never seemed to stop humping each other..
At least that's what my older siblings say. You see I am the youngest of them all, and being the smallest of them all, they picked on me and made fun of me. But I was always a jolly fellow and always happy when my parents were around, especially because my siblings dared not to fight each other nor me, when they were around.
But my parents, pretty much the king and queen, having humped too much, passed away due to complicated genital issues.. thus explaining the blessed absence of memories of parents humping. So one could indeed call me a stereotypical little boy who was alone in the world, after they went on.. You know, Hector Malot? Don't get me wrong, suffering everyday, being their little slave, getting scrap meals from my brothers and sisters who always picked on me was just like a slice of heaven.. If heaven were to be a golden palace filled with shards of glass where you're roasted on a fire that burns you from the inside 24 hours a day.
Now I didn't go all emotional back then, unlike some certain youths these days who have zero legitimate reasons to complain. If you didn't get this subtle hint, unlike some Legend Teller I happen to know, this means I did not go 'Emo'. This is not a story about me being a pathetic lonely whiny b*tch who needs to have some realism and rationalism slapped into him.. Now, why didn't I break down? It was because of that one thing, that one goal, that one dream that was driving me onward.
Vengeance.
Simple as that.
I desired not to kill my siblings, I desired to rule over them and make them suffer, like they made me suffer. Make them *my* slaves. So I secretly started training my body and mind. But as I learned great intelligence and amassed some power in my body I realized that, those 2 things were not enough. In the stories and theories that I read, it always lacked something.. bunny.
Until one day I came across the writings of a famous man, who was not a scholar at all, nor even eloquent. And his words were the opposite of erudite. He wasn't even a great warrior, as he looked like the wind could snap him in too and depended on others to protect him. And yet kings and mainly power hungry princes were listening to his advice.. And so did I. As I read his words I learned 2 new arts, the arts of the owl and the arts of the snake.. I learned the difference between wisdom and intelligence and I learned that strength alone is never enough. I immediately started to learn these new skills, meditating and contemplating, learning the arts of wisdom. But it did not dawn on me yet, for I was too fixated on vengeance.
I only became wise enough to really understand my siblings, what kind of intricate jealousies and issues they had. In the meanwhile I tried to better the skills of the snake. At one point I was constantly lying, deceiving and manipulating my dumb siblings, slowly turning them against the smarter siblings who were now behaving as our parents did, like kings and queens.. It worked, the onslaught was magnificent, mainly because all I did, was sit on the side and cheer them on, bwahaha.
With my smarter siblings gone I took control and ruled them. But I hungered for more.. much more.. I wanted everyone to suffer! And so I looked onwards to our neighbours.. and I desired them to suffer too. But my meditations and comtemplations were, unbeknownst to me in the start, becoming al too conflictious with my lies and manipulations.. So I decided to raid every library we and the neighbours had to learn more about the man who helped me gain my true power.
Apparently his name was never written down, although he did refer to himself of being made of metal. For that was the strongest material known to all creaturekind in his primitive days. And with metal he meant that his mind was greater than his body, even if it was but a small portion of his mind. And so I gained the name of Metal Bunny and not because our species is metallic in nature or because I used to torture certain people with certain metal tools, that went into *certain places*..
Those are all lies and propagande, don't listen to that. *Ahem* after some raiding parties I finally found some books that had indeed 'Metal' on the front cover. They were all the same however, and they were all named: "Commentaries on the Metal Man". What I read in the neighboor's books was nothing but criticism against him. But the strange part was that I understood it and agreed with it. It must've been the endless contemplation kicking in, but I learned what was wrong with his theories. After months of arduous further meditation and contemplation I finally saw the truth, no matter how hard I tried to deny it in the end.
I guess it was because of those moments of peace and happiness that I experienced in the presence of my parents. But I did give in, in the end.
I felt.. pity for my siblings and.. I felt some sort of.. regret of me manipulating them into killing their other brothers and sisters.. It was a hard period for me.
But the neighbours, having long lost their once civilised ways, had begun a guerilla war and slowly killed so many of my siblings for whom I now for the first in my life had some.. non aggresive feelings for. And then it hit me. Years of contemplation and meditation finally aligned themselves with my years of lies and deceit.
I finally knew it. What I had to do. I had a new goal and even if it was still world domination, it was now because of different motivations. Read my military ways and beliefs if you wish to know more, but if you are more interested in what kind of individual I am, you should read on..
My name is Metal Bunny, apparently, and I like the color green.
I have the Dutch nationality, but am more fluent and eloquent in English; I simply have this exquisite affinity for her broad vocabulary. If you did not understand the previous sentence I suggest you get to know how I am by reading my comments on the live chat, for I practically hibernate on the scene of Willow’s Shop. Well not anymore really.. it's because I am trying to avoid attacks, so I won't get any closer to that dreaded max xp.
But I digress, I believe, so back towards a nobler cause, me. Yes, I am that vain and occasionally arrogant as well. Truly, vanity thy name is Metal Bunny, heh. I have been designated a number by my parents when I came to this world, it was ID# 11799. Which is nice because 7 is my favorite number, although sister # 7777 was a real hag and totally a spoiled princess. But conquering lands have already given me enough satisfaction and incentive in the form even newer conquest campaigns. It is refreshing to say the least and I am certain I will persist in conquering like the Great Khan never ceased to conquer and pillage and plunder.
But once more I digress; yes, my thoughts can be that superfluous. Ah well, I am 19 and am nearly going to one of my newly established colleges, which is an event that gives me so much a nice galore of joy and anticipation that I am nearly giggling like a Japanese anime character in a schoolgirl uniform, although I have always wondered why those 'animes' were in the kitten libraries. I like rock, though the extremes are not my favorites. I am more for the classical and youthful epitomes, such as Aerosmith and Fall Out Boy. I am of the male sex if you hadn’t come to this conclusion yet. That means I am male, you organic wastes. I find this short introductory note sufficient, for now. If you wish to know more, ask and ye shall receive, if I find that a larger group has found interest in my life, one can safely assume that I will put that bit of my glorious and illustrious life on this page.
Should you wish to see more of my more.. eccentric quirks of my most esteemed and worthy character, you should continue to read the most exquisitely awesomely funny ‘quotes and other nonsensical stuff’ section.
The first few years of my life
This is described more detailed in the personalia section. Long story short, I played my infantile siblings against the conceited arrogant ones. Using mostly manipulation I gained supreme rulership over my siblings. I then unified the other bunny families through a short succession of wars and diplomatic coercion. I was declared Emperor of the newly founded Bunny Empire. This empire consists mostly of bunnies, not just my own siblings. For instance, the infamous clan of the Schattige Bunnies the Murderous Mippha’s clan both once fierce enemies, now loyal servants.
However, if you have read my doctrines and my ever-changing thoughts on life, then you know that I no longer wish for bunny-kin to suffer. So I had left the majority of my army at home. In the bushes, undergrowth, the vast tunnels, the small islands and even on the rocks of Golemus Golemicarum themselves. I had told them that no enemies were here and that I alone would continue my own dream. It was logical after all, the bunnies were already under my rule and completely happy. And so I set forth to conquer the world. Alone, to prevent further suffering upon my kin.
No man’s land
I thus left the gates of Golemus Golemicarum and entered no man’s land. I quickly learned how to recruit creatures and to focus my own strength into them. A most disturbing sight however, was to meet the majority of this barren land’s strange denizens. Most are humans, and so most are twice as tall as me. I, as a metallic bunny, am by nature large compared to other bunnies, but these humans are even bigger than me. Most of the tale that should come now is a tale of learning, dueling and interacting with the land, of which I believe most of you are already familiar with. I had decided that to rule the world, I would definitely need an army. And so I set forth to create an organization and recruit soldiers into its folds. For more information on this, read my alliance page. But for now, this is my current conundrum. To recruit a large enough army to take over the world.
Eulogy For The BigC (hey that rhymes :D)
Our BigC, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy XP come.
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily wins.
And lead us not into XP limit,
But deliver us from meager fights.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.
This one is for you too, Wodin..
And now a lament for gummy bears, a pure work of pure art by the most majestic Bunny. It was inspired by heartless and cruel humans as they confessed their villainy and crimes against our noble and sweet allies, the gummy bears. It was made to support them, and to emphasize the inhumane nature of humans. After long and hard work, I perfected this poem and I must say, those were the most beautiful and well spent 300 seconds ever.
o_O
Mommy, the weird humans are scaring me...
Why do they crawl in my mind?
Why are they so scary?
They are ever so unkind...
Talking about a cute beary,
While screaming for mercy, it's eviscerated!
Their story in their vanity:
Forced to watch, the bears family is devastated!
They're molesting my sanity!
Why are those helpless gummy bears so hated?
Those people are a profanity!
Their sugary bodies eaten, thus desecrated!
It was like seeing a rolling wave of evil, like a tsunami.
Oh gods, a cruel death for them to be fated!
One worse than they propagate, I just want my mommy...
Sicko's... what did those bears ever do to you?
~Advertisement for the I-BID~
Is everything ok today? Not sure? Then ask yourself these questions:
'Did my mirror break while screaming death and horror?'
'Did my kitchen appliances attack me screaming: 'viva la revolution!'?'
'Did my door hit me on the way out saying: 'nice ass babeh'?'
'Do I like RJ?'
If not, then you are just fine in the head my friend. If so, then your mental stability and grip on reality are disturbed enough, so that you can be enlisted in our programme! What is our programme you ask? It's the Imperial Bunny Infantry Division, that is the name of the program, not the actual acronym for the organization mind you. It has other meanings as well. You get the benefit to revel in your psychotic madness while you are participating in our raids and pillages. You get to murder in a horrendous fashion while screaming maniacally. You get to be traumatized even more while witnessing petrifying battlefields full of wonderful rotting corpses while violently adding more blood and gore to the idyllic scene.
Just bid the world and your sanity goodbye, and you will be welcomed into a cold and cruel world full of shiny and squishy violence. Just say: 'I-BID the world and my sanity goodbye!' You will be brainwashed (optional) and enlisted.
*pay is good, but only if you survive
**no dental
***no kittens allowed
****brainwash not optional
*Quotes*
.Renavoid.: *curls up on the bed with the pillows and goes to sleep, enjoying the cool caress of ghostly fingers on my shoulders*
Malazan: I'd just want a vampire bunny. Simple, effective, and deadly
dst: then let's kill MB and then turn him into a vampire
.Shoeps.: :))
Malazan: I dunno if any vampire would be willing to do it. I mean, chewing on a metallic bunny's neck has GOT to be akin to snacking on tinfoil. And that feels nasty
Malazan: Not that...err...I would know
*To clarify, the conversation was about me gaining up on Jonn with activity days, the difference was 2 age, it's now 1..*
.Jonn.: good for you I guess
.Metal Bunny.: wait, that's.. weird
.Jonn.: what?
.Metal Bunny.: cuz I missed a day too, when I was moving and found out my internet wasn't.. you know.. there.. .Metal Bunny.: you missed 2 days! Heretic! Infidel!
.Jonn.: hmm
.Jonn.: I feel so ashamed
.Metal Bunny.: must've had a 'field trip' with your local gopher club huh?
.Metal Bunny.: dirty man
.Jonn.: evil ashamed*
.Jonn.: *blushing* How did you......
.Jonn.: no I want fall for that again
.Jonn.: tricky bunny
.Metal Bunny.: ... that is so going into my quote's list
.Jonn.: aww
.Metal Bunny.: lol
SageWoman: were we not drinking Last...I don't quite remember
WindSpirit08: Stumbles into the sanctuary....
SageWoman: ::looks at tankard::
SageWoman: Windy, did you put LHW in our drinks again?
WindSpirit08: Grabs Sagie from behind....sagie...I luv wu...
SageWoman: Yeah, yeah, I luv you too...now get off me
SageWoman: Whats wrong with you woman?
SageWoman: Where were you?
WindSpirit08: Hic....grins....hic
.Metal Bunny.: ...
SageWoman: ::looks at lastsoldier with confusion::
WindSpirit08: Bobby says hi...tee hee
.Metal Bunny.: that is so going to get quoted
.Shoeps.: the more dirty the more i like it..:))
dst: o_O
.Shoeps.: :))
*To clarify, the conversation is about dst being annoyed at my quest and that I was teasing him.. and then he threatened to come to the Netherlands to find me*
.Metal Bunny.: you're bluffing :P
dst: don't count on that :))
.Metal Bunny.: lol
Manweor: we are already organizing an alliance trip
.Metal Bunny.: lol....
dst: yeah! to come and kis...aaa...kill you MB
Manweor: with a lot of knives
dst: although I guess you will be more groused by the first thing :))
Manweor: XD
.Metal Bunny.: o_O
.Metal Bunny.: run awaaay
.Metal Bunny.: dirty humans trying to molest cute and innocent forest animals!
dst: he he...I scared the Bunny :D
.Metal Bunny.: this is so going to get quoted, gonna make you regret this, lol :P
.SmartAlekRJ.: Hail the Bunny Empire
.Metal Bunny.: I am Awesome!
.Khalazdad.: Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Logan Marquis: so wait...irene touched mrd's bob today and it "bloomed"? wow...you two...get a ROOM
DarkPriestess: You call it petey???
MRD: LOL
DarkPriestess: Lol
.Metal Bunny.: LOL
MRD: Logan thats great
.Metal Bunny.: QUOTING TIME
DarkPriestess: damn you Logan
*DP is complaining that MRD didn't hug her.. MRD says he did.. DP replies with:*
DarkPriestess: Not in this condition dear
DarkPriestess: *points at MRD's bob* :P
Logan Marquis: wow...
.Metal Bunny.: see now you're making the jokes yourself..
DarkPriestess: Lol
Logan Marquis: yeah well...
DarkPriestess: NO
DarkPriestess: no
DarkPriestess: o
DarkPriestess: no
Logan Marquis: dp is pervescent.
.Metal Bunny.: that's no fun for us
DarkPriestess: erase that
DarkPriestess: you didn't see that
*dst woes and marries Dark Priestess.., yeah I know, wtf?*
Logan Marquis: by the power vested in me by Mur, Shoeps, the Archivists, and the Legend Speakers...I now pronounce you dst and she who is to be 'dst'd' later...
DarkPriestess: LOL
Logan Marquis: dst...you may now whip the hot-blooded priestess.
.Metal Bunny.: LOL
DarkPriestess: *bends over*
.Metal Bunny.: HAHAHA
Logan Marquis: *the wedding march begins to play but is promptly interrupted with the sound of the Imperial March*
DarkPriestess: :P
.Metal Bunny.: dp is such a naughty girl
DarkPriestess: missed what?
*Lightsage*: Want some bunny stew DP?
DarkPriestess: WHAT?
.SmartAlekRJ.: lol dp
.Metal Bunny.: lol
*Lightsage*: She can talk =D
DarkPriestess: meh... who am I kidding... I am...
*Lightsage is trying to get more friends…*
*Lightsage*: awww...
*Lightsage*: I'll never get my count up like that...
dst: why do you want to get it up?
.Metal Bunny.: lol..
dst: i mean...artificially
.Metal Bunny.: LOL
dst: am I right? or am I right? :D
.Metal Bunny.: dst, i was thinking of something else :P
*5 minutes later ¬_¬*
dst: OMG!!
dst: =))
dst: now I realized what I have said :))
.Metal Bunny.: LOL
Innocence: I can suck on you for a bit, Priestess?
Innocence: *quakes in delight* Priestess, that was the BEST I've --ever-- had!
Innocence: Thank you!!
DarkPriestess: Ooo Inno, I am glad you enjoyed it as much as I did! Rawrr
.Metal Bunny.: o_O
*Sagewoman*: Who's the most awesome and cutest bunny in all Magice Duel?
: Dayredeemer wonders why all the avatars have disappeared..is it my new laptop?
*Sagewoman*: Yes you are. Oh yes you are!
.Metal Bunny.: lambchops...
*Sagewoman*: Yes Your Awesomness?
: .Ailith. laughs
.Metal Bunny.: read my pl
.Metal Bunny.: lambchops
*Sagewoman*: Yes Your Bunny Wunnyness.
: *Sagewoman* puts Metal Bunny down
*Sagewoman*: .......
.Metal Bunny.: lambchops :D
All Hail The Lord Of Bunnies!
(\/)
(-.-)
(..)(..)
All Hail The Bunny Empire!